13 Tips for Self Promotion, for People who Hate Promoting Themselves
“I know it’s something I should probably do, but it’s really not my style.”
“The idea of personal branding makes me nauseous”
“My company doesn’t…”
“I have never really…”
“But I don’t have anything to say.”
If there is an excuse for not talking about yourself, I’ve heard it. So many times. By seasoned execs, published authors, serial entrepreneurs, motivated recent grads, and everyone in between.
My response to all of them? Welcome to the club.
For many accomplished people, talking openly about what they know and what they’ve done – and talking about anything vocally at all – feels more than just uncomfortable. It’s counterintuitive.
And that’s not a surprise. In a culture that values authenticity, humility, loyalty, and quiet dedication, speaking about yourself can feel all wrong. Not to mention the vast number of minority, nonbinary, immigrant, neurodivergent, or LGBTQ+ leaders who have been told that their voice is not valued or appreciated.
But I don’t want to talk about that anymore. What I want is to hear from all of you. A lot more.
So many people are walking around feeling isolated, unseen, and unworthy. And yours are the stories that have the potential to break through.
I want a world where more of us believe in the importance of sharing our lived experiences – and are willing to find the words to do so.
And so, drawing on years of doing this work, I present to you, my list:
13 tips for self promotion, for people who *hate* promoting themselves
I’ve broken these tips into three key categories: things to remember, things to forget, and things to do – ideally, today. Take a read, and then tell me what else you would add.
Things to remember:
This is hard for everyone. But that only makes it more worthwhile. So saying it’s not your style is not an excuse.
Someone, somewhere, needs to hear exactly what you have to say. Ask anyone who publishes content regularly and they will tell you countless stories about putting out something that made them feel vulnerable, only to be rewarded by feedback from someone who said it changed their lives.
Sharing your experiences is not selfish, it’s an obligation. The only way to change the shape and look of our corporate landscape is for each of us to be willing to share what we’ve learned so others may benefit from that on their own journey.
Use your voice, not someone else’s. If it feels inauthentic, then it probably is. This is about leaning into who you are, not about trying to become someone you’re not.
Your words will be rewarded. As Gretzky once said, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Remaining silent means you are not giving anyone a chance to hear what you have to say. In my experience, especially for the people who are afraid to try, these efforts always pay back in surprising and big ways.
Things to forget:
Everyone is judging me. No, they’re not. It’s easy when we feel too nervous to speak up ourselves to judge others who do. But that mostly comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity. The loudest critic is the one inside your own head. You can silence them, or stay silent forever.
I have nothing to say. BS. You have a lifetime of experience that is floating around in your mind and soul. You just need to spend time examining it and giving it some air time. Try to break down your own knowledge bias, which often clouds our perspective on the value of our own insight.
Someone else has already said it. No, they haven’t. Because they aren’t you. Only you can say what you know in your own personal way.
My company will think I’m looking for a new job. This may be true. Some leaders follow online activity to get a feel for who is speaking up and read into it. But that is a remarkably outdated mentality and a sign of a dysfunctional culture. If you are worried about this, maybe take a beat to think about why and what it means about where you are.
Things to Do, Ideally Today:
Mental reset. You only get one lifetime, and one chance to say what matters to you. Let go of the reservations and remove them from your mind.
Make space for some thinking. There are tons of guides available for how to get in touch with who you are, what you know, and how you want to present yourself. I keep a running list updated on my website here with some great writing prompts.
Start writing. Get some input. Take a stab at a few writing prompts and ask for some of your strongest champions to weigh in. Questions like, “What do you typically turn to me for?” And, “What should I celebrate more about myself?” are a great way to get valuable external insight into what people may want to learn from you.
Get out there. Don’t sit on your writing forever. Share observations – short- and long-form, comments or feedback on discussions, anecdotes from your past that feel relevant today – and accomplishments that you’re excited about. See how it feels, and keep working at it. This work matters.
We are facing a reckoning about identity, culture, and business. Things are shifting, and our voices are more powerful today than ever before. Don’t sit back – join in.
And share your wisdom here! Let me know what you’d add, change, or elucidate here. We need everyone’s input to get this stuff right.